Ironman Arizona Highlights!

Ironman Arizona highlights, November 2009

PRE-RACE:

• Arrived in Tempe with Ireland Friday afternoon and met parents at the airport

• Not yet nervous just ready to get to hotel and get settled

• Focused on eating right and drinking lots of fluids (mostly water)

• Picked up packet and got lay of land a bit….it was nice and quiet when I was there…..most athletes got their packets earlier in the day so it was good timing, picked up bike from TBT

• Some meditation, lots of visualization

• Friday night ate at awesome Italian restaurant called Oregano's and did some major carb loading....Mom couldn't believe I could eat that much

• Saturday morning swam at 8 a.m. for about 20 mins.(brrr it was cold), did 50 mins. on bike to make sure gears weren’t slipping & chain was cool (felt good), 20 mins. run (it was warm) then met up with parents and Ireland...they were making signs for me :)

• Spent quality time with friends and family Saturday

• Met Alicia and Desiree with Mom, Dad, & Ireland at Tex-Mex restaurant Saturday afternoon for some beans.....mmmm mmmm good!

• Chasing Ireland around IM village and Tempe and giving her piggybacks….parents told me to stop :)

• Little worried about how my back (glutes/hamstrings) would feel on race day….did a lot of stretching

• Loved all the texts, calls, & FB messages from awesome friends and family….helped calm my nerves

• Dropped off transition / special needs bags and bike in transition....no turning back!

• Got to meet awesome people from all over the world

• Met older guy from Cali doing his 25th anniversary Ironman....his first triathlon (and last one until Sunday) was Kona….wow!

• Getting asked by someone if this was my first IM…..he said I had a nervous smile

• 5 p.m. – butterflies start to happen!

• Hoping to get a good night’s sleep on both nights...especially Saturday…had hotel room to myself!

RACE DAY

• 4 a.m. alarm

• Stretched and did some more visualization & meditation

• Ate bagel with peanut butter and clif bar

• Felt a little nauseous thinking about the race and long day ahead of me, but excited!

• Everything was layed out ready to go…..all I had to do was get moving!

SWIM (2.4 miles):

• You couldn’t see the half way point at the end of the lake from the start buoy – scary

• The race announcer at swim told us to “get off his dock”…..he said, “I’m not sure what you’re all waiting for….stop procrastinating and just jump in!”

• I teared up a bit during National Anthem then did some hootin’ and hollering…..a woo hoo and oww oww always makes you feel better!

• 70 people were pulled from swim b/c of hypothermia. Not me….thank goodness for Barton Springs!

• Deep water mass swim start is NUTS!

• Trying to get away from people and find a clear spot to swim…..kinda impossible

• Stayed as close to buoys as possible, but seemed like everyone was following ME!

• Swallowed a lot of water

• Looking up and people are EVERYWHERE….no where to go but to the next buoy just ahead

• Most used terms during my swim “Dude” and “Dammit”......craziness trying to swim with so many people around you (2500 athletes trying to swim to the same place)

• Found a nice rhythm and got in a groove.....then it would get crowded again......dammit!

• Felt good for swim, tried to reach and really relax and just go with it

• Someone grabbed my face early on….got an elbow to the head, foot to the face, got scratched a couple times (had a sleevless wetsuit), several times felt like someone was trying to swim over me, kicked as hard as I could many times to get people off/away from me....had to be a little aggressive ;)

• Right leg cramping up at half way point…..luckily worked it out by flexing and pointing foot

• Looked at watch an hour into it…ready to get out of the water and on my bike…..just keep swimming.....just keep swimming!

• Thinking about eating my white chocolate macadamia nut clif bar as soon as I got on the bike!

Swim (1:25:00)

TRANSITION 1:

• Extremely cold getting out, wetsuit strippers rock!

• Shivering big time running to get bike gear bag

• Dried off as much as possible, shoes on, helmet on, sunglasses on and off to get my bike

• Volunteers lather you up just out of the tent with sunscreen

Transition 1 (00:7:38)

BIKE (112 miles):

• My favorite!

• Passed 839 people on the bike…..couldn’t believe it when a friend told me…..I looked at race results and confirmed! ;)

• Still shivering with numb hands and feet for first 10 minutes.

• Found out quickly that the way out on each loop would be windy

• Back hurt a little on first loop

• Met Harvey with a deep southern accent from Athens…..big guy….we talked and rode for a little while then I needed to get!

• Was called “Austin” on bike b/c my Jack & Adam’s jersey said Austin, TX on the back

• Many people from all over said how much they loved Austin…..I thought good you can visit just don’t move here!

• Saw Harvey again and he said I left him hanging…..hehe!

• Loving the feeling of being on the bike and just getting in the zone

• Felt powerful and strong and so glad Dave and I trained well on the bike

• Got a 4 minute penalty….hard not to draft out there with it so congested…..was riding with a group of 8 guys… 3 of them got warnings and I got the penalty….busted! They were protective of me saying that it was bullsh$t! So, I stood in penalty tent for 4 minutes texting and making a couple calls!

• Got to see my brother and mom at the first turn around point in town along with Chris and Kathy....helped get me thru to the next loop (didn't get to see Ireland and that bothered me a little)

• Looked down on Loop 2 and I had slowed down to 15 mph….it was windy. On way back into town I looked down again and was going 31.5 mph....now that's what I'm talking about!

• Felt good overall….had some stomach cramps early on from taking in so much water on the swim, but went away well before half way point

• Stopped once for porta potty break….volunteer held on to bike for me and I told him I would tip him if I could (his name was Bruce)

• Grabbed Gatorade, water, and bananas from aid stations

• Lost the straw to my aerodrink so had to make do and take off bottle tops to re-fill fluids on the go

• Legs felt good, but held back a little b/c I didn’t want to bonk on the marathon

• Focused on nice smooth pedal strokes and moving forward as fast as possible

• John, from Laguna Beach, said I was a nice pace setter (ummm…..ok!)

• Talked with Travis from Victoria, TX for a bit…then I had to get going again! I met him the day before with Alicia and Dez and it was cool to see him again out on the bike course

• Started thinking about my run around mile 80.... I had to run my first marathon ever….after doing 112 miles on the bike....really?! Stayed positive!

• Feeling blessed to be out there riding

• Thinking about my cousin Erik and getting a little emotional….dedicating my Ironman race to him

Bike (5:43:27)

TRANSITION 2:

• Marathon time……yea baby!

• Get run gear bag, volunteer helped open bag and pull everything out for me

• Grab hat, sunglasses, some food, change of socks, running shoes……here we go!

• Oh yeah….potty break again!

• Oh and the volunteers lather you with sunscreen as well

Transition 2 (00:3:20)

RUN (26.2 miles):

• Doing my first marathon in an Ironman race……I got it! I just wanted to run the entire thing….

• All smiles heading out of transition…..especially when I saw Desiree, Alicia, and Taylor

• I ate some shot blocks with caffeine & grabbed water right of the bat

• Trying to take it easy but I started out way too fast…7:31 pace first 5K…. had my running legs and the endorphins had kicked in again…thought I could hold it for a while…ummm no….especially not on a first mary....and started to feel the quads tighten up about 10k in

• It was a warm start to run, but not too bad….nothing like the heat we had this summer

• Gentle hills and 1 long steady climb at the end of the loop..I thought it was going to be flat as a pancake......not so much (yes, you were right David)

• Volunteers were awesome….sometimes running up to you to ask you what you needed b/f you even got to aid station

• Drank at every aid station (except 1)…..probably why I was so bloated and swollen at the end of the race

• Ate 1 ½ bananas, 1 pack clif shot blocks, 1/2 Luna bar, 3 clif shot gels (mocha with caffeine & strawberry), Gatorade, water, and added coke later on

• Got to see Chris and Kathy on the bridge during my first 5K…..awesome energy and support to get me started! Saw them again at mile 20.....impecable timing!

• Trying to keep a nice steady rhythm and easy breathing

• Felt awesome at the 13 mile marker....just so happy to be out there and really enjoying the run....knowing that this would be the 2nd time that I'd ever run more than 13 miles...ok let's do this!

• Feeling overwhelmed with emotion….somewhere b/w miles 16 and 18, then again at 20….just felt so fortunate to be able to do what I was doing and realizing again how blessed I am!

• Teared up thinking about my cousin and felt like he was watching over me

• Met some great people on the run and we cheered each other on….sometimes you wanna talk and sometimes you don’t…..sometimes you just wanna run!

• Missing my children…just wanted to hug them (haven't seen Ireland during my run at all) :(

• Started to feel a little light headed and stomach was in knots around mile 17 so decided to drink coke at that point…..helped for a few miles then I didn’t feel like eating / drinking anything else…felt extremely bloated and a nauseous

• Legs getting fatigued and really starting to talk to me at mile 22ish, plus boredom set in…..I was ready to get to that finish line and see everyone! Stomach really cramping and feeling queasy at this point too, but knew I could make it a few more miles w/o vomiting (I hoped anyway)!

• I wore new Asics Cumulus and surprisingly didn’t get any blisters….that’s a record…I usually get blisters on 10 mile runs

• Thought about Tony, all my friends, family, and awesome members at LifeTime and how supportive everyone has been

• Feeling good to be alive

• Spectators & volunteers were so helpful with their cheering and yelling, great stereo system at one of the aid stations and I remember hearing "Boom Boom Pow".....oh yeah!!

• Mile 23 came and I decided to walk….not sure why I just felt the need to take a break since I hadn't stopped one bit until just that moment..….I walked up the last hill, down to the aid station (think it was just under a mile), grabbed some coke, dug really deep and started running again…

• I couldn’t wait to see mile 25….home stretch baby!! I could see the lights for the finish line and hear the cheering.....

• I kicked it into high gear……as I was turning the corner towards the finish line I almost cried…..a spectator saw me and said you’re right there….

• I had to be smiling when I came across that finish line….just like I had been most of the race

• I saw my parents and Ireland as I was heading thru the chute to the finish line….so amazing.....a feeling of exhiliration and a feeling I will never forget!

• Arms up, smile from ear to ear!!! Lindsey Ginko YOU are an Ironman! Rockin’!!!!

Marathon (4:30:12)

Ironman finish (11:49:35)

Post-race:

• Get medal, professional pic taken (I cut in line b/c I felt like I was going to pass out), hugs, hugs, hugs, I cried when I saw my brother, spent about 10 minutes chatting and taking pics with everyone, then off to medical tent

• Hung out in medical tent for about 30 minutes trying to throw up (that came a couple hours later though), I just wanted ice cold water and they wanted me to drink chicken broth (I’m a vegetarian but tried it….gross)!

• As I was sitting in the medical tent Dad asked me if there was any point during the race that I thought about giving up/quitting.....No, no there wasn't......that thought never crossed my mind.

• Ireland ran up to me crying with her arms wide open…...it was a very long day for her and she was so full of emotion that she just let it all out at that moment

• I wasn’t ready at all to eat after the race but had a few pretzels

• Grabbed bike and transition bags and off to hotel to shower!!

• Desiree, Alicia, and my Dad helped me carry everything back to the hotel and then headed back to the race to watch more finishers…..up until close to midnight (which is the cut-off)

• Finally at 9:30 p.m. I was HUNGRY! I ate a veggie sandwich….that wasn’t enough but I was too tired to get anything else. I just knew that breakfast was going to be really good the next day!

• Shower and sleep! I couldn’t sleep much (maybe got in 3 hours)…..I was still on cloud 9 and my muscles weren’t ready to sleep either….achy and twitchy!

Thankful for…….

• Tony for supporting me through this journey and putting up with crazy training days / race schedule / kids, and telling me to do what makes me happy!

• Paige for helping me with the kids and letting them spend the night when I had to get up early for races / training when Tony was out of town

• My parents for also helping out with kids when they came in town when I was training / racing, and being in Tempe with me and watching Ireland and for their love and support

• Taylor for flying in from Atlanta to be there for me.....such an awesome supportive brother

• David G. - such a great friend and training partner… inspiring, encouraging, and put up with me!

• Members at LifeTime - heard about stories throughout training and were always supportive and truly cared, helped me get through long training days, race season and then on to Ironman

• Kim F. and Marie for awesome care packages

• Alicia W. and Desiree K. for traveling out to Arizona to support and cheer me on

• Chris and Kathy S. for driving out to Arizona to support and cheer me on with 3 of their kids

• Jack Murray with Jack & Adam’s – best bike shop in town

• Yvonne with Amsterdam for sponsoring me

• James and Sancha (Chase Floors, Inc.) for sponsoring me

• All the thoughtful, inspiring, and kind words I received before and after the race…..amazing!

• LifeTime team members – always caring and asking how training was going & supporting me

• Sweet kiddos – being without mommy more than usual for the last 8 months

• For the ability to do what I am passionate about

• Coach Craig helping me with swim stroke and feel more confident in the water

• Coach Nick helping me run faster and more efficient!

• For the opportunity to help make a difference in other people’s lives at LifeTime

• David B. and Anna W. – encouraging words from experienced Ironmen

• Eli C. for letting me borrow his sweet Mavic race wheels!

• Dr. Todd and Laura Whipple for helping me rehab my glutes / hamstrings

• Dr. Laurie Buob for working on me during the year

• Heather G. for the use of “her” wetsuit

• Post-race shower

• No blisters!

• No sunburn!

• For all my upcoming Chiro and massage appointments this week…..ahhhh!

• Star Gymnastics, Steven Liggett, & Iron Cactus for sponsoring me for 2010 so I can do it all over again!

• Ironman Florida 2010 here I come!!!

Long training rides gone bad summer '09 :)

So, it turned out to be an awesome summer with all my training, kids out of school, no traveling (it was actually kinda nice staying home), and just teaching and working out! I have spent more hours in the sun (not such a good thing) than I probably did when I was a teenager lifeguarding. It was soooo hot this summer that I took the kids swimming as much as I possibly could. The heat didn’t phase them one bit……they were just happy to be in the pool (they’re both little fish)!

I spent a lot of time training outside in the hot sun for long rides and runs, track workouts, and training in the pool. One week I counted up my miles that I had put in and it was over 200 miles running, swimmin, and biking…….in one week!

Sun burn city:  I learned my lesson on one of our long rides this summer…….my longest ride so far was around 65 miles…..knowing that I had an Ironman at the end of the year it was time to increase that distance a bit. Dave and I set out for our long ride in North Austin on Parmer Lane…..he asked me about 3 or 4 miles in if I had any more sunblock……I said, “No, do you need some?” He said, “No but your back does.” Ouchy…..just this one little strip of skin got fried where my tri shorts and top didn’t meet…..no idea it was visible to the sun until I got in that aero position. :( It hurt! My 4 year old daughter saw my “boo boo” and was very concerened and told me to never do it again. :)

We did 80+ miles that day. I remember feeling a little light headed about mile 60 or so…..I ate a little bit and drank some pure sport and started to feel better. After we did more long rides I realized I wasn’t eating enough on the days leading up to those longer rides so I increased my protein / carb intake and felt better from there on out. I ran out of fluids on just about every long ride we went on and had to stop for more……we did a ride out to Andice and I thought I was going to pass out on the bike b/c I had been without fluids and it was sooo hot. At one point Dave and I were both out of our fluids and miles away from the next gas station. We finally made out to Andice grocery store and those first few gulps of G2 never tasted so good!

Oh no tummy cramps:  Wow, I just remembered another long ride adventure! So, this was about middle of the summer…….Dave and I planned on getting in 80+ on this day and left from LifeTime heading towards Anderson Mill on 620. We stopped at a bike shop on 360 for something (probably b/c Dave had to pee)…..nahh I think I needed fluids……and the guy at the store gave me some E-load. BAD idea for me to put that E-load in my water.

Dang did I have some major stomach cramps…….note to self E-load makes me gassy!!! I felt like crap the entire ride from about mile 20ish to whenever we got home (I think we did close to 85 that day)……and my training partner heard about it the entire time!! Gotta love him.

Ironman training / race season summer '09 (part 2)

In the midst of all the races David and I were starting to focus on training for our Ironman and trying to work it around teaching classes at the gym and our families…..and I run a home-based business that I try to maintain, but wasn’t very successful at doing so this summer. We had planned to do our century ride on June 5th and on a couple other occasions but it got pushed back a  few times for various reasons....(it's a big chunk of time so planning it with our schedules was not easy)....

Prepping for 100 mile ride: We finally attempted the 100 miler in July and OMG was it a crazy hard 100-mile attempt…..100 degree weather and all HILLS! Who’s idea was this anyway? Ok, so it was quite an ordeal to get to this route and get ‘er done……we had to drop one of our cars off in North Austin the night before our ride so we could just go from point A to point B (leave our “transition bags” (so to speak) with running gear b/c we were crazy enough to want to run afterwards)…….bike rack on the car, park in a lit area so it doesn’t get broken into, and don’t leave anything of value, etc. etc.  We decided to leave at 8 a.m…..which for us meant 8:30ish! 

Andice adventure:  We didn’t make the 100 miles……got in 68 instead….Dave got a flat that we couldn’t repair (in the middle of no where on the way to a little town called Andice). And……some scary, strung out, mass murderer-like guy picked us up (in a florescent yellow truck with red flames painted on the side). Seriously, this dude was creepy. I kept thinking of the movie Wolf Creek (go look it up……freaky scary and based on a true story). He drove us about 20 miles or so back to our car……Dave sat in the back of the truck bed sweating his hiney off holding our bikes and I sat up in the cab with scary man. Scary man (now remembering his name is George) asked me if I had a sister…….he invited me and Dave over for Barbeque…..he asked me how much our bikes cost…….he talked about how long he’d been out of rehab and how he now lives with his parents at age 43……scary man also told me about his bike accident and showed me his scars (not cool)……oh and I found out why they call that little town “Andice” Andice……feel free to ask me sometime…….geez he talked about a lot. I remember at one point there were tons of cops driving by with their sirens on and he said, “Man there sure are a lot of cops out today.” I replied with, “I sure hope they’re not coming after you.” Nice one Lindsey. :) Nice guy to pick us up ….but….ewwww he was scary. And we finally did get that 100 miles in (103 miles at that) on July 24th and it rocked (same route)! And that was my first century ride! Yayyy!

Run-Far Bike Time Trials: I did my first Run-Far bike time trial in July and got to go as fast as possible for 8 miles……that’s kinda fun! I did it a couple more times over the summer and my fastest pace was 24.4 mph. And guess what, I think I got 2nd at all 3 of them….. Go figure! I did a few Splash and Dash races throughout the summer as well…..good training tool…..especially when you almost DNF (did not finish) b/c you freak out on the swim….and it’s a 750 meter swim…..really? That’s another funny story!

I will start another post or two to finish up race season and training b/c this one is waayyy long!

9 days to go!!

11 days....getting pumped! Ironman training / race season summer '09!

So, today was a really good day…truly getting excited about the big race! Last night, I posed a question to Tony regarding my upcoming Ironman……. I asked, “What have I gotten myself into?” He calmly replied by saying…..”I think you have a screw loose!” Awesome! I thinks he’s right. :)  It got me thinking about this crazy thing I do and how far I’ve come this year! Here’s a little recap and then some! 

This is my 4th year of doing triathlons and I can say it’s my first year that I really have been focused on improving my splits and pushing myself to do better each time. I came with a mindset ready to race!

Signing up for Ironman: I signed up for Ironman Arizona in November of 2008 and officially started training towards the end of May / beginning of June. I really hadn’t thought about doing an Ironman before last summer (well maybe a small inkling but that was before I had kids)…..even early last year (2008) I was happy just doing sprints. I told myself I didn’t need to do anything more than a sprint……that distance is just great and fine for me! Well....I started training and hanging out with David Garza! ;) Some how I signed up for my first olympic distance over the summer of ‘08 (Austin Tri) then my first half ironman in Oct. 2008 (Longhorn)......so….2 olympics, 3 half ironman races, and a dozen sprints later and I am doing a freaking Ironman. I remember David telling me on one of our long rides last summer that his wife, Mindy, and he decided that it was a great time for him to do an Ironman. I just said, “Have fun with that!”

Different start: The funny thing is that I started out the 2008 season with a super sprint race (500 meter swim, 11 mile bike and 2 mile run)…..and this year with a half iron distance (1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, 13.1 mile run)…..quite a difference but I think it was a good decision!

Lonestar half Iron: My first race of the 2009 season was the half iron distance in April in Galveston (Lonestar). It was the second race I’d done at this distance and I was excited to do a race out of town. My friend, Kina, and I drove down together and really had fun.  I was excited for her as well b/c she was doing the Aquabike distance for the first time. Swimming at the gulf really wasn’t any different than swimming at Town Lake (other than a couple gulps of salt water). I did smell/taste what seemed like boat gasoline at one point……and that was gross, but not too choppy and it was pretty much a straight shot to our swim out. I felt really strong and overall had a good race. The only thing I fought was a horrible back pain and burning inner thighs on the bike (like on fire crazy burn). I stopped once at the very beginning b/c I felt like my back brake was rubbing (I always think that though….especially when I’m trying to keep up with David…ha)!  It was the first flat bike course I’d done……probably the first flat ride I’d ever done….. When you are used to hills you’d think flat would be easy…..it was actually a lot tougher than I thought it would be. You never get a break and always seem to be pushing those gears….especially when you wanna go fast!

I felt darn good on the run….maybe just happy to be off the bike, but I definitely had my running legs early on and didn’t slow down much at all. It was very windy that day…..there were certain spots on the run course that you knew were coming and you’d have to push through the wind with all your might……coming around certain corners without the wind was like heaven! I think it was a 4 loop run course so it was fun to see everyone and cheer on my friends out there. I had a smile on my face for most of the run….. :) I placed 2nd in my age division!! That was a great start to my season and helped set the mood for a great race season!

Skeese Greets Sprint:  The second race I did was a sprint in May…..yes! I love sprint distances b/c they are short and sweet and you get to go balls to the walls!! It’s a rush! So, I did the Skeese Greets and again got 2nd. I did this one in 2008 and got 3rd….I improved my run pace by a little and had a stronger bike……but slowed down on the swim…..dangit (overall improvement by 2 mins. though)!  

Tri it in Spanish and Pflugerville Tri: Next up would be Pflugerville Tri and a small sprint called Tri it in Spanish….that one was interesting…..pretty much all I can say about that. It was fun though b/c some of the tri group from LifeTime did it and it’s way more fun when there’s people there you can cheer on. I got overall female at Tri it in Spanish…..yahoo!

13 days and counting....

Wow, what a difference a week makes! I am so upbeat and so excited about Ironman I can’t stand it!! I laid pretty low last week and just did what I needed to do and didn’t put a lot of intense workouts in and I know it really helped! I feel refreshed and energized this week. I do have some lingering back (or hip) pain, but I get to go see my chiro again this week and know it will help a lot. I have a feeling it’s going to be somewhat of a bother during my ride at Ironman, but I’m going to just have to deal with it. It’s just kind of a nagging constant throbbing feeling that I feel on the left side (especially on the bike in the aero position). I have started to feel it on the swim too which isn’t very pleasant either, but I will just push through it!

It’s amazing to me all the support I am receiving from the members at the gym. I think they are almost as excited as I am to do this thing! I hope to make everyone proud!

I wish I blogged during this entire journey b/c it’s been so much fun and such an adventure. I am so blessed to have this opportunity and love my hubby so much for his support! He just tells me to do what makes me happy!

13 days to go!!

On my way....

  Wednesday, Nov. 4th……Less than 3 weeks to my first Ironman and I was literally a complete mess today. I had a great morning teaching 2 awesome classes - cycle and strength and then I planned on doing just a short run…. I didn’t feel like it….really my body didn’t feel like it. So, I had my hair cut and styled instead. :) When I got home I felt insanely guilty. I felt like I had let myself down…..which is just silly b/c I’ve worked my bootie off all summer. I talked with a couple friends (both of which have done several Ironmans) and they both said to listen to my body and take a break. It’s always hard for me to take a break…….. I think at times I definitely over-trained and right now I am exhausted! My body has had enough and is telling me to cut it out! So, I will listen! The last thing I want to do is sacrifice all the time and energy I have put into training and racing to have my body quit on me now! Allowing my body to absorb everything I have done leading up to this point is exactly what I’m supposed to be doing (I think)!

  I picked up the kids from school today and really just cherished my time with them. Watching them laugh, play and just have such a carefree attitude helped calm my nerves. It’s an awesome thing to be able to see your own children happy and enjoying life together. Maybe one day they will realize how hard mommy has worked for this goal and how blessed I feel to be able to do what I do! They’re still just too little to get it. 

  I subbed out my class tomorrow so I could get in a long swim.  Dave and I are swimming 2 miles at Barton Springs (which should be refreshing and feel good to my muscles) and maybe get in a light run. I teach a strength class later on today and will probably focus more on upper body work during the class……and hopefully it will give my legs a little more recovery time. 

  What I’m going through is normal I’m assuming…..I’m anxious, nervous, tired, and excited all at the same time and not sure where to go with all these emotions!

19 days to go!!